Cheesed Out

Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz – it seemed like the perfect pairing of two blockbuster Hollywood stars. But dunk that pairing into a really bad script filled with cheesy cliches and the result is a cringeworthy yawn fest that thankfully.. wasn’t named Wichita and the Trouble Man (original title).

Let’s talk plot.

We get random pretty shots of Cameron Diaz, which are strongly reminiscent of her Charlie’s Angels days… then cue the quiet gaze of a lean man in dark clothing with aviators – oh wait, isn’t that what Tom Cruise looked like in his Mission Impossible days?

they “accidentally” bump into each other, get on the same flight which is full of government agents. Cameron Diaz turns out to be a really sweet, charming girl who fixes cars, whilst Tom Cruise is a rogue spy. So whilst she goes to the washroom to give herself a little pep talk on being confident and (well obviously,) encouraging herself to hit on Tom Cruise whom she (obviously) thinks is hot, Tommy engages in a not barehanded fight with everyone on board and kills everybody including the pilots.

Diaz returns to her seat and Tommy tells her what happened and she giggles and then freaks out .. Tommy lands the plane and they are safe, he tells her that government spies are going to come after her, and if they tell her that she’s ‘safe’, it means they’re will kill her. tada! typical spy paranoia.

so what predictably unfolds is that she somehow gets re-involved with Tommy’s life (instead of being content with her mundane life) and it turns out that her car fixing skills equate awesome shooting skills (how does this remotely make sense?!) the convenient skipping over of action scenes and lame attempt at turning this into a psychological thriller aside, it seemed like the scriptwriters didn’t really know what they were doing

in the midst of a gun scene

“Roy, roy? You don’t seem very happy to see me”

Tom Cruise pretends to shoot (no gun recoil, no bad men falling down), then looks at her. “What?”

“I said, you don’t sound very happy to see me”

With bullets flying left and right and hitting everything around him, Tom Cruise strides powerfully towards her, his back to his enemies who are desperately shooting (and need to go for some target practice)

yep. so there you have it. the most climatic moment of the movie. I have to say, there really isn’t much credit I can give to the movie as a whole, so here’s my breakdown of it according to its elements

Romance Factor: 6/10. sweet girl finds meaning in her life with big shot spy dude
Action Factor: 2/10 unrealistic, and they skip over all the exciting parts that require physical stunts anyway. Otherwise it’s mostly CGI or fancy driving
Spy Factor: 4/10 basically, the government is corrupt and Tom Cruise saves the day.
Tom Cruise Factor: 5/10 he looks good, but his acting is undeniably bad. I totally didn’t feel any engagement with his character
Cameron Diaz Factor: 5/10 she looked good, but her character didn’t make sense, so i don’t blame her for this one
Plot Factor: 2/10 need i elaborate?

Having now wasted 2 hours of my life with Knight and Day (don’t worry i was multi tasking during this time…), I can’t say that I’m at all excited about Tom Cruise’s new film Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol unless it rakes in awesome reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol is the fourth movie of the series and is slated to be filmed in Dubai, Vancouver, Moscow and Prague. It will be directed by Brad Bird and is expected to be released sometime in 2011.

About ruth

whimsical, nutella-obsessed, shopaholic, bookworm. A huge fan of fantasy novels, she sees the magic in everything :) Life is too short to waste time feeling miserable. Serendipity!

Posted on October 28, 2010, in 2010, Movies, Review and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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